As most everyone knows by now, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC) has recently thrown her hat into the ring of contenders for the 2008 Democrat presidential nomination. [1] [2] Because I happen to think that Ms. Clinton is among the most disingenuous individuals in American politics, I have decided to relate what I believe she would have said in her public announcement to run for president if she were capable of being honest with the people of this country.

The following quotes are from Hillary’s brief “I’m In” statement of January 20th, 2007. After each one I have included my own version of her message, written in a way that I feel more accurately reflects her true attitudes and desires.

HRC - “I announced today that I am forming a presidential exploratory committee.”

I announced today that I am forming a presidential exploratory committee, and before I say anything else, let me just point out that it was never my intention to complete my second term as the junior Senator from New York. I’ll be damned if I’m going to continue taking a back seat to Chucky Schumer, [3] while losers like John Kerry [4] get all the attention. Screw my constituents, I want to be president!

HRC - “I’m not just starting a campaign, though, I’m beginning a conversation - with you, with America.

I’m not just starting a campaign though, I’m creating a fearsome political hit squad to eliminate all of my competitors, and while I’m at it, I’ll be having conversations with wealthy Hollywood film actors, labor union leaders, sycophantic journalists, a slew of activist lawyers, and anyone else with the money and influence to help me get elected.

HRC - “Because we all need to be part of the discussion if we’re all going to be part of the solution. And all of us have to be part of the solution.”

Because limousine liberals are the solution to my fiscal problems, and sitting down to softball interviews with schmucks like Larry King [5] will be of tremendous help to me as I attempt to convince large numbers of Americans that I’m not really a communist.

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